Stuck in the ’70s — It’s About Time You Came Back!

The ides of July are upon us. You know what that means in Batesville, Arkansas.

You don’t? It means the smell of wastewater from the chicken plants down by the White River wafts all over these parts, ushering in the Independence County Fair & Livestock Show, the Cave City Watermelon Festival, numerous various pageants, and the granddaddy of ‘em all – THE WHITE RIVER WATER CARNIVAL. It’s a week-long extravaganza, the likes of which are rarely seen ’round here, topped off with the Miss White River Pageant (a pre-cursor to Miss America)!

The events start out small early in the week with the Cruisin’ Main event — a drive through the ol’ Main Street Route, circlin’ the Sweden Creme and showin’ off your hot wheels. Later in the week, the River City Cruisers host a car show. You know it’s time for the car show when you smell the chicken guts.

I’d told my yankee brother, Mike, about the car show for years. Told him how rinky dink it was, yet he longed to visit and see for himself. So, here he came south the last day of July or the first day of August, to see the show. They were lined up in the City Building parking lot in all their Armour-Alled glory.

I take a picture of my brother, his head underneath the propped-up hood of a ‘57 Ford. Snap. He surfaces with a sour look on his face. “What is that smell?”

“Oh. That? Why that’s local industry, big brother,” I explain. “What you’re smelling is a pure mixture that can be found nowhere else on this continent. First and foremost, you’ve got the rotting chicken guts, milling about in the sewage at the plants by the White River, which flooded 3 or 4 times this spring. Mix that with the sweat of the illegal immigrants trying to make a buck pulling the beaks off said chickens. And, then to top it all off, there’s the record-breaking stretch of temperatures and/or heat indices at or above 100 degrees farenheit. Mmmmmm … like a breath of spring time.”

Mike’s got a poker face on. He brushes his bangs off his forehead with his left index finger.

“Nice,” he replies.

Stay cool,
Julie
10:47 p.m. 7/11/08

Well, boys and girls … today was quite unusual. I think I’ve mentioned in previous blogs about this heel spur I’ve been living with. Yeah — I’m a middle-aged overweight woman who walks anywhere between 7 and 15 miles every day, 10 days in a row, on solid concrete at your local home improvement center.

My family doc referred me back to the orthopedic guy who had previously shot my foot up with cortizone (to no avail), and then put a cast on my leg so I’d stay off it (helped for a little bit). I saw him for 6 seconds today, and now I’m scheduled to have surgery one week from tomorrow morning. OK.

So, I’m in a frenzy trying to find out how to file for my short-term disability. I’ve got customers whose kitchens have only yet begun who are counting on me. My Missouri career apparently fell through. I don’t have any time off coming till Christmas. I worked 10 consecutive days while Don slept through his vacation. I deserve a break today. My foot hurts. Dammit.

OK. That’s enough of the whining. When Don asked me this afternoon, “What does this entail?” I thought he meant the medical procedure. No. He meant two weeks without my regular pay and 6 weeks worth of whining. He’s right. He’s got to psyche up.

What that means for you, faithful reader, is lots of Web site updates. Lots of video footage still to go through. Diaries to find. Lots of magazines, pictures and recipes to scan, and hopefully, more celebrity interviews to do.

So, children, this is the new permanent home of the Stuck in the ’70s blog. Thank you, Yahoo!, for fixing it! I’ll continue to be on My Space as well, but not my blog.

Stay cool,
Julie
11:58 p.m. 7/7/08